soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You made out with two different species that night
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Im part way to drunk.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
