xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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