Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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