well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
