Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize