just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
