Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
