i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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