hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
