Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
