I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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