and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
