Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize