Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
