Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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