What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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