Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
