I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
