i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
