i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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