Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
