and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it was like eating out sand paper
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
