yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
