Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You were trust falling into bushes
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
