So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize