Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
