Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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