Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
