I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize