Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
