She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
