this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
