I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
This toilet bowl is my home.
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