i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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