You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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