He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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