Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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