I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
