I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
