It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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