Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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