Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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