why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
