I want to make a zoo with you.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
