Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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