I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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