I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
