would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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