Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
