Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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