State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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