so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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