Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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