I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
