I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
