Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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