I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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