My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
