Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
