shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
