he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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