ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
